During my career break, I went on a personal development mission and discovered a new and improved version of myself. But I didn’t do it alone. I had the help of a mentor and life coach.

Because it was so deeply impacting, I wanted to share the trigger discussion/exercises that my life coach, Damián, used to help me in my path to self-discovery.

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Coaching Design and Follow-up

Hi Chris,

I am happy and excited to be joining you on this journey of growth and development. I appreciate your candidness, honesty and curiosity. The quality that has really struck me is your deep compassion. I hear it come out when you talk about helping others and I see it in your eyes. I sense that this deep compassion comes from a place of love and care.

I also sense that this capacity for deep compassion can distort itself in ways that don’t serve you well. You might be so focused on taking care of others that you repress your own need for care.

The metaphor I see for your current way of being is that of a short order cook – you are cooking multiple dishes at once for the people that you love and the people that want your help. You are constantly tending to everyone else’s nourishment and are not focused on your own.. The new metaphor I invite you to step into is that of a Pilot – Getting yourself and others to the right destination. Pilots need to ensure they are nourished and supported to do their job. They need their tools and instruments to keep them on course, a co-pilot to help when they need a break and a crew to support them in their mission of serving the passengers.

I can also see that busyness is highly valued by you and that some of your value comes from being busy. The story you might be telling yourself is that if I am not busy then I have no value. What happens if you are not busy? Can you have value and not be busy? Can you have value while doing nothing? Where does your true value come from?

We’ve identified that the present issue in your life is to identify the next expression of yourself in life and in work. In your coaching, we will be focusing on the below goals. Your developmental outcomes are:

• You are able to identify and express the full spectrum of your emotions
• You are able to create space for and listen to your heart’s deepest desires
• You are able to appreciate and enjoy life in its present moment

These outcomes are aligned with the greater purpose of your coaching which is to have you walk through life with the calmness and conviction that comes from deeply knowing yourself.

To get there, we will add practices into your daily life to cultivate new skills and a new way of being. The practices are:

• Journal at end of each day – how did I take care of and nourish myself today?
• 3 times a week do at least 30 minutes of yoga focusing on your body and breath in the present moment
• Daily emotional check-in with wife using core emotions – mad, sad, glad, fear, shame
• Bonus – meditate regularly

Finally, I have an additional resource to help you in this new path. This link will take you to an overview of core emotions and how they combine and interact to create our emotional landscape. The article focuses on disgust instead of shame. I invite you to explore shame over disgust as it is a feeling that, in my judgment, comes up more often.

Let me know if you want clarification on anything or if you want to modify anything that isn’t resonating.

With love and gratitude,

Damián